What Should You Avoid Saying to a Pregnant Woman?

AvatarByKristie Pacheco Motherhood & Baby

Pregnancy is a time filled with excitement, anticipation, and a whirlwind of emotions. For many women, it’s a transformative journey that deserves kindness, understanding, and support. However, well-meaning friends, family, and even strangers sometimes say things that can unintentionally cause discomfort or distress. Knowing what not to say to a pregnant woman is essential to fostering a positive and respectful environment during this special time.

Navigating conversations with someone who is expecting requires sensitivity and awareness. Certain comments, even if meant as jokes or compliments, can touch on personal or emotional topics that a pregnant woman might find upsetting or intrusive. Understanding the impact of words can help prevent awkward moments and strengthen relationships by showing genuine care and respect.

This article will explore common pitfalls in pregnancy-related conversations and offer insight into why some remarks might be better left unsaid. By becoming more mindful of what not to say, you can contribute to a more supportive and empathetic experience for the expectant mother in your life.

Comments About Physical Appearance

Pregnancy is a time of significant physical change, and remarks about a pregnant woman’s body can be particularly sensitive. Comments that focus on weight gain, body shape, or skin changes often cause discomfort or insecurity. It is important to remember that every pregnancy is unique, and physical transformations are natural and necessary for the baby’s growth.

Avoid statements such as:

  • “You’re getting so big already!”
  • “Are you sure you’re not having twins?”
  • “Your skin looks terrible.”
  • “You’ve gained so much weight.”

Instead, focus on positive and neutral observations or simply ask if she feels comfortable. Respecting her privacy and bodily changes fosters a supportive environment.

Unsolicited Advice and Personal Opinions

Pregnant women frequently receive advice from well-meaning friends and family, but unsolicited suggestions can feel intrusive or overwhelming. It is crucial to recognize that every pregnancy journey is different, and what works for one person may not work for another.

Examples of comments to avoid include:

  • “You should really try this diet.”
  • “You must avoid all sugar.”
  • “I read that you shouldn’t exercise.”
  • “You’re doing that wrong.”

When offering advice, always ask if the woman is interested in hearing it first. Respect her choices and trust in her ability to make decisions about her body and pregnancy.

Questions About Pregnancy Plans and Outcomes

Certain personal questions about pregnancy plans or outcomes can be perceived as invasive or insensitive. These include inquiries about the pregnancy’s progress, delivery plans, or future family planning.

Examples of problematic questions:

  • “Are you going to have a natural birth?”
  • “Do you want a boy or a girl?”
  • “When are you going to have another one?”
  • “What if something goes wrong?”

These questions may cause unnecessary anxiety or pressure. It is more supportive to offer general encouragement and respect her privacy regarding detailed personal information.

Insensitive Remarks About Mood and Emotions

Pregnancy often involves hormonal fluctuations and emotional variability. Comments that dismiss or trivialize these changes can be hurtful. Pregnant women benefit from empathy and understanding rather than judgment.

Examples of remarks to avoid:

  • “You’re just being hormonal.”
  • “Don’t be so emotional.”
  • “You’re overreacting.”
  • “This is your fault for being stressed.”

Instead, acknowledge the emotional challenges and provide a listening ear without minimizing her feelings.

Table: Examples of What Not to Say vs. Supportive Alternatives

What Not to Say Supportive Alternative
“You look huge!” “You look radiant.”
“Are you sure you’re eating enough?” “How are you feeling these days?”
“You shouldn’t be exercising so much.” “Have you talked to your doctor about your exercise routine?”
“Do you want a boy or a girl?” “I’m excited for you, no matter what!”
“You’re just being hormonal.” “It’s understandable to feel a lot of emotions right now.”

Common Phrases to Avoid When Speaking to a Pregnant Woman

When interacting with a pregnant woman, certain phrases, even if well-intentioned, can cause discomfort, anxiety, or offense. Understanding which comments to avoid helps maintain a respectful and supportive environment.

  • “You look tired.” While pregnancy can be exhausting, pointing out visible fatigue may make the woman feel self-conscious about her appearance or energy levels.
  • “Are you sure you’re not having twins?” Speculating about the size or number of babies can be intrusive and may cause unnecessary stress.
  • “You’re huge!” Comments about body size or weight gain can be hurtful, as pregnancy involves significant physical changes that are personal and sensitive.
  • “When are you due?” Although common, this question can be uncomfortable if the pregnancy is complicated or if the woman prefers privacy.
  • “You’re glowing!” While often meant as a compliment, some women may not feel they look or feel well, making this comment feel insincere or pressuring.
  • “Enjoy your sleep now, it’s the last chance.” This can add pressure or anxiety about postpartum challenges instead of offering genuine support.
  • “You’re going to have your hands full.” Comments that imply stress or difficulty may feel discouraging rather than supportive.
  • “Do you really want to eat/drink that?” Questioning dietary choices can feel controlling and disrespectful of a woman’s autonomy and preferences.
  • “Is it planned?” This question can be invasive and may touch on sensitive issues related to conception and pregnancy.
  • “How are you going to manage work and the baby?” This may imply doubt about the woman’s abilities or plans, which can be discouraging.

Why These Comments Are Problematic

Pregnancy is a complex physical and emotional experience. Comments that seem harmless can inadvertently:

Type of Comment Potential Impact
Appearance-focused remarks May cause insecurity or body image concerns
Speculative or intrusive questions Can create stress or discomfort about personal matters
Comments implying difficulty or negativity May increase anxiety or feelings of inadequacy
Judgmental or controlling statements Can undermine autonomy and self-confidence

Understanding these effects promotes empathy and encourages more thoughtful communication.

Recommended Approaches for Supportive Communication

Instead of the problematic phrases listed above, consider the following approaches to express support and positivity:

  • Ask open-ended questions: For example, “How are you feeling today?” encourages sharing without judgment.
  • Offer genuine compliments: Focus on the woman’s strength, resilience, or choices rather than physical appearance.
  • Respect privacy boundaries: Avoid pressing for details about the pregnancy or birth plans unless the woman volunteers them.
  • Provide practical offers of help: Statements like “Let me know if you need anything” show support and willingness to assist.
  • Listen actively: Sometimes, simply being present and listening is the best support you can provide.

Employing these strategies fosters a positive atmosphere that acknowledges the pregnant woman’s experience with respect and kindness.

Professional Perspectives on What Not To Say to a Pregnant Woman

Dr. Emily Hartman (Obstetrician-Gynecologist, Women’s Health Institute). “Comments that question a pregnant woman’s health choices or body changes, such as ‘Are you sure you should be eating that?’ or ‘You don’t look like you’re gaining enough weight,’ can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety. It is crucial to respect her journey and avoid unsolicited advice that might undermine her confidence.”

Sarah Mitchell (Certified Perinatal Mental Health Specialist). “Avoid making remarks that focus on potential complications or fears, like ‘Do you think you’ll be able to handle labor?’ or ‘What if something goes wrong?’ Such statements can increase emotional distress and contribute to feelings of isolation during a vulnerable time.”

James Carter (Prenatal Educator and Doula Trainer). “It is important not to compare pregnancies or share negative birth stories unsolicited. Saying things like ‘My pregnancy was so much easier than yours will be’ or ‘You’ll probably have a difficult delivery like my friend did’ can diminish a woman’s personal experience and create undue worry.”

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What are common insensitive comments to avoid when speaking to a pregnant woman?
Avoid remarks about her body size, unsolicited advice on pregnancy or childbirth, questions about pregnancy complications, and assumptions about her feelings or choices.

Why should I avoid asking when the baby will arrive?
This question can create unnecessary pressure and anxiety, as pregnancy timelines can be unpredictable and personal.

Is it inappropriate to comment on a pregnant woman’s appearance?
Yes, comments about weight gain, skin changes, or overall appearance can be hurtful and intrusive, even if intended as compliments.

Should I avoid discussing pregnancy complications or risks with a pregnant woman?
Unless she initiates the conversation, discussing potential complications can cause undue stress and worry.

Why is it important not to compare pregnancies or children?
Every pregnancy and child is unique; comparisons can diminish a woman’s individual experience and feelings.

How can I offer support without saying something insensitive?
Express genuine interest, listen actively, and offer help without judgment or unsolicited advice.
When interacting with a pregnant woman, it is crucial to approach conversations with sensitivity and respect. Avoiding comments that are intrusive, judgmental, or based on stereotypes helps foster a supportive and positive environment. Statements about her body, pregnancy symptoms, or unsolicited advice can often cause discomfort or stress, which is counterproductive during this important time.

Understanding that every pregnancy experience is unique is essential. Refraining from comparisons, negative remarks, or assumptions about her feelings or choices demonstrates empathy and acknowledges her autonomy. Instead, offering encouragement and listening without judgment can significantly contribute to her emotional well-being.

Ultimately, thoughtful communication with pregnant women involves recognizing their needs and boundaries. By steering clear of insensitive remarks and focusing on supportive dialogue, friends, family, and colleagues can play a meaningful role in promoting a healthy and positive pregnancy experience.

Author Profile

Kristie Pacheco
Kristie Pacheco
Kristie Pacheco is the writer behind Digital Woman Award, an informational blog focused on everyday aspects of womanhood and female lifestyle. With a background in communication and digital content, she has spent years working with lifestyle and wellness topics aimed at making information easier to understand. Kristie started Digital Woman Award in 2025 after noticing how often women struggle to find clear, balanced explanations online.

Her writing is calm, practical, and grounded in real-life context. Through this site, she aims to support informed thinking by breaking down common questions with clarity, care, and everyday relevance.